My latest essay in Human Parts.
My latest essay “The Massage That Made Me Betray My Country” has been published in Human Parts. It is about an accidental (and horrifyingly painful) fascia massage I received in Saint Petersburg, Russia.
As I laid there, I had the realization that I would have told this man anything in the world to make the pain stop. I realized: I would make the world’s worst fucking spy. Which sucks because I always thought of myself as spy material.
It was the second most painful experience of my life.
A week after this massage I contracted measles. And, to this day, I believe this man managed to massage measles out of me. My whole body was in agony for a week and then BAM—measles. Coincidence? I think not.
Here is a friend-link to the article to read for free:
Thanks to Nikita Klimov for the amazing artwork to go with it.
If you have any questions about the article or the experience, feel free to shoot me an email back.